Personal Effectiveness :
Set your own goals, face challenges
Know who you are, get going in life
Speak your mind with confidence
Set your own goals, face challenges :
-Ishita Sanyal on sense of self-worth and steps towards positive
If you are lazy students, it’s a hint that your individual style of
learning does not match with the teaching mode. In other words, you
are a victim of trying to adjust to the education system. A
particular method of teaching that may be suitable to one student
may not suit another. But you need to know what you want.
In other to sustain your self-motivation, you need to know your
strengths and weaknesses. Love yourself
Enough to believe that you deserve to accomplish positive changes in
your life. Set realistic goals for yourself without getting
influenced by what others want of you.
Often, we adopt the goals set for us either by our elders or by
peers without having an aptitude for it. It would be better if one
first becomes aware what he or she has an aptitude for. You must
know what your objectives are and why you want to pursue them. Once
in a while, imagine and visualize how it would feel to have achieved
Not down every possible possible positive change that you have
brought about in your life. Think positive. Every day, write down
all your achievements and positive changes. Overcome the fear of
failure and be confident that you would be successful soon.
Divide a big goal into small ones that are measurable, reasonable
and achievable. Accept that changing of old habits takes some time.
Do not expect any magical transformation in you overnight.
Remember that motivation is invisible, it’s inside your head and
heart. It can’t be measured but you realise its worth when it shows
in your performance. If you change your old habits and in turn
change your performance, you can safely assume that it’s a positive
Review all the successes you’ve enjoyed in every aspect of your
life, leaving behind all the failures and negatives.
Here’s an exercise that you can do. It will make you feel much more
1. Contact a friend who has a positive attitude towards life and
have a chat
2. Tick on the following checklist to know whether you are suffering
from any form of inferiority complex.
Find out if you feel any of these.
Do you miss the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction that comes
with success or good performance?
Have you lost the respect of you peers and are excluded from the
“winners’ circle” because of your performace?
Are your friends not paying enough attention to you?
Do you think you no longer can control your destiny and that you are
a victim of circumstance and bad luck?
Do you just get less mark than others or is your performance not
according to your capabilities?
Do you worry about the future because you fear you may not be able
to deal with difficult situations?
Do you realise what you are losing in life because of lack of
Here are tips to improve your motivation levels
1. Free yourself from “shoulds”. Live your life on the basis of what
is possible for you and what you feel basic feel is right, instead
of what others think you “should” do. “Shoulds” distract us from
identifying and fulfilling our own needs, abilities, interests and
personal goals. Find out what you want and what and take action
designed to fulfil your potential.
2. Respect your own needs first. Recognise and take care of your own
needs first. Identify what really fulfils you, instead of opting for
instant gratifications. Respecting your deeper needs will increase
your sense of worth and well-being.
3. Set achievable goals for yourself and work step-by-step to
develop your potential. Strive to be a perfectionist.
4. Experience success. Seek out and put yourself in situation in
which the probability of success is high. “Image” yourself
succeeding. Whatever you accomplish success and feel good about it.
5. Take chances. New experiences are always learning experiences
that helps build self-confidence. Mistakes are part of the process;
don’t be disappointed if you don’t do a thing perfectly.
Feel good about trying out something new, what ever may be the
Face and try to solve problems, instead of avoiding them. Running
away from problems threatens your self-confidence.
Practice taking and implementing positive decisions. When you assert
yourself, you enhance your sense of worth, learn more and also
increase your self-confidence.
Develop your skills. Know what you can and can’t do. Assess the
skills you need; learn and practice those.
10. Emphasis on your strengths. Accept your current limitations.
Rely on your own opinion of yourself. Entertain feedback from
others, but get completely taken over by it.
Know who you are, get going in life-
-Ishita Sanyal on maintaining motivation levels.
Ritwik know what’s expected of him at home and in school. The
13-year-old also know how important it is study well, now that he is
in the secondary section.
Yet, he was very quit as his parents and private tutors sat around
him in the living room showering him with wise talk. Ritwik’s
parents failed to understand why he was unable to put his maximum
into academics. They had tried out so many things- encouraging him,
warning him of the consequences and even scolding him. But all their
efforts were in vain.
Ritwik himself was not sure what happened to him whenever he tried
to work hard. Why has he gradually developing a tendency to avoid
his books? Why couldn’t he stop himself from watching television for
hours together even before examinations? Why was he slowly getting
addicted to chatting and scrapping on the Net? Why couldn’t he
resist himself from calling up his friends frequently for a chat,
even thought he was well aware of his pending work? Maybe he failed
to see the positive results that would follow if he put in hard work
at the right time in the right direction.
Lack of motivation and under-achievement are becoming common
problems in the society at large. Most teenagers are not exploiting
their potential and are lacking in the desire to continue their
studies after a certain level. They hide their weaknesses from their
parents in the fear of being rebuked. For themAcademic pursuit is no more than a form of punishment. Sometimes,
the phobia against studies and the lack of performance acts as
negative conditioning and adds to the fear.
Some students study because they do well in it or because they enjoy
learning. Many more are confused about the actual value of
education. They may find other things more interesting than spending
hours on their studies. Although they agree with their parents and
teachers that they need to improve,
they fail to “start doing” things that would bring about a positive
change in them. Encouragement by elders can act as inspiration for
some time, but fades away fast when the children come face-to-face
with a range of other interesting activities.
The first mental pattern of failure – that is often responsible for
lack of motivation- is lack of purpose. There is no big “why” and no
juicy reason for achieving the goal in the first place. Majority of
Children today get whatever they want without any effort. So they
fail to develop the drive to achieve goals in real life. They
concentrate more on here and now- with their lives full of
excitement, amusement and addiction to attract ives.
The key to success in life is self-motivation. It is one of the
greatest skills that a person can ever learn in life. It is the
ability to recognize one’s potentials and work on it.
In life, knowing what to do hardly ever hold one back. It is mostly
case of just doing what one already
knows. Whether you are consciously pursuing a dream or you are
unconsciously pursuing mere survival, your mind is always driven by
an “image” of something that it “needs” to “find or accomplish”.
To develop motivation one should identify one’s strengths,
weaknesses, likes and dislikes. A child generally has an idea about
himself or herself from the comments that his or her family and
But you shouldn’t always depend on others for encouragement.
Speak your mind with confidence -
-Ishita Sanyal tells you how to hone your oratory skills:
Tears kept rolling down Ishita’s cheeks. She had not done well in an
annual talent hunt amongst school students. She was angry at herself
and was feeling desperately hopeless, as this could have been her
of getting exposure in the school circuit. Ishika failed to
understand how her classmates proved to be better orators despite
her knowing the subject in greater detail. What was the secret
behind their success? What made the audience pay attention to every
word they said, while she failed to impress them. Gradually, she was
developing a phobia towards speaking in public.
Ishita’s case is not a lone one. A thousand other school students
like her have already given up hope and prefer to stay away from
events that require good oratory skills.
The fact is that some people are fortunate enough to develop good
communication skills without much effort. The personality pattern of
each and every individual is different. Some are extroverts who like
the company of people and enjoy conversing with them. Such people
usually leave a strong impact on others. They are also more
confident in a group. Introverts’ personality patterns lack the
needed communication skills. They are also shy and fear to be with
Probing the causes of success and failure based on the following
factors may help a person overcome the first barrier towards
Confidence building: Failures are often due to lack of confidence.
So try to note down yours strengths-
We often forget that we are no less talented than others. Unless you
are sure about yourself, You can never
Be confident. The fear of failure and inferiority complex often
become hurdles. When you are not sure about yourself you cannot
express your opinion boldly.
Visualisation: Close your eyes and think where you want to be, who
you want to be and what are the factors that may keep you from that
goal. Once you identify these weaknesses you can fight them.
Knowledge: The key to success in any oral presentation is knowledge.
So gather as much information as possible on the topic that you are
expected to speak on. Then jot down the main points. This would
increase your confidence level on stage.
Attract attention: The art of oral presentation lies in grabbling
the attention of the audience. So focus on what you are good at. You
can write a poem on the topic you are going to speak about if you
are good at it. You can sing a few lines if melody is your forte.
You can narrate a story if that is what mesmerises people. The start
of the talk has to be unusual. Try to keep track of good
advertisements in the media. Learn from them how to catch eye-balls.
Body Language: your body language is giveaway of whether or not you
are at ease. Practice in front of a mirror first and then in front
of parents and peers with whom you are comfortable.
Positive thinking: Be proud of your capabilities, but at the same
time, also try identify the strengths of
the other good speakers. Learn your skills so that you stand out in
Self-esteem and self-image: These are even more important in teen
age. Try to note down all the factors that are important for your
self-image. Try to discuss it with your empathetic elder family